My Abuela

I woke up to some sad news today. My Abuela, my grandmother, passed last night. It was a long time coming so it has been expected for some time but the fact that it actually happened was still hard to hear. She helped raise me when I was a baby, made Spanish dance costumes for me, and is probably where I got my shutterbug gene from. In true “grandma” fashion she always made sure I had a full tummy when I came to visit. I used love going to her house when I was young because she had wood floors that I could perform flamenco on for her and, of course, the big pool in the backyard was great. Most of all, even in my twenties she would still have me sit on her lap so she could love on me like she did when I was a baby.

I admit that I haven’t really felt close to my family for some time, mostly since I moved away when I got married. However, I think having children makes you appreciate your family more. It has been difficult to see my grandmother deteriorating over the past few years. I am not sure if she recognized me the last time I saw her. I am pretty sure she never really understood who Kelsey was but I am glad she got to meet her. I choose to remember her from a few years ago with red hair, nails done, and a smile and I hope I never lose the mental audio of her calling me “Micha.”

Aubrey is usually a great sleeper for a six month old but she woke up around 11:30p last night and would not let me put her back down. After a few tries I finally propped myself up on the guest bed and she fell asleep on my chest. In the morning, I found out that this was about the timeframe of my grandmothers passing. I am going to believe that she came to meet her newest granddaughter. I have to believe that there is a better place when we go, somewhere where we have everything we want and are with everyone we have ever loved.

Unfortunately, one of the unpleasant parts of living away from family is not being able to be there sometimes. I am not going to make it to the funeral. On the other hand, it turns out it is a good reason for a visit. I’ll be heading down to Miami next week. I think it will be a good distraction for my mom and hopefully my family can meet Aubrey.